Trick or Treaters can be REALLY damn cute. I’m not super into kids (like, at all), but put them in a hot dog suit, a duck jumper, etc, and I melt.  But then at 8pm it’s all 15 year olds in Sharks hoodies like that makes you Nabokov, BUT IT DON’T.  I have no problem giving them the stink eye and sarcastically asking “oh hey bro, what’s your costume?” but if you tell me a USC sweatshirt = “college alumni costume” you can get the hell off my porch.

and DO NOT get me started on the kids who dare say “can I have more?” ????? I swear to Santa Maria, my kids will only be allowed to trick or treat in full blown costume and with even better manners.