So yesterday I went to leave work at 5:05pm thinking, lord jesus get me home and in my bed so I can OD on hummus and finish Game of Thrones, when my car would not turn on or even sputter one last gasping breath and I was like….
What is this fuckery? But luckily I work with a group of Real Adults who 1) actually own jumper cables and b) actually know how to use them. Also, bless them, ‘cause after having AAA for like, 8 years (because my pops paid for it), it expired in February when I was fresh out the nest aka BROKE and so my beautiful ancient midsized sedan wasn’t going anywhere.
But I made it home and with the aid of Capable Boyfriend and Semi Useful Roommate With Tools, the battery was taken out and brought in to an auto store for a charge when they tell me that that fucker was DEAD FOR GOOD !?! and that shit costs $100 to replace??
My stages of grief:
So 24 hours later Capable Boyfriend starts putting in the new one but is slightly struggling so I go out to help aka hold the flashlight and look nervous and we are 90% done but there are 2 pieces we can’t remember where to put and at this point I am ready to give up on ever driving again aka
Also, by “holding the flashlight” I meant HOLDING UP MY LAPTOP because we had no working flashlight, BF’s iphone died and my blackberry is a worse light source than one tiny goddamn firefly. So then I literally google “how to change the battery in a Nissan Maxima” and some beautiful man ACTUALLY uploaded a video of him doing just that.
So I just want to say that just in case anyone was still wondering, the internet IS the greatest invention of all time.